>Some personal data about you, Sex:

>Male
Cool Man

>Female
Cool baby. Here's the key to my hotel room. Come on up and watch me blow out the tube of the TV with my 357 Magnum.

>Yes, usually on the weekends.
I only got one word to say here man: Groupies.

>Gender:

>Male
I'm a Man Yes I am Yes I am, HUH !

>Female
Cool baby heres the key to my hotel room. Come on up and we'll watch Viva Las Vegas on the video.

>A little of both
You know we all started out with two X chromosomes. You just lost part of yer X to be a Y...ain't you glad man.

>Income:

>None of your damn business
Damn straight man

>Not Enough
No such thing as enough in money or food. Pass the mashed taters will ya.

>I'm a computer geek who makes more in one year than you will ever see in a lifetime, buddy!
Hey man you are talking to the King here I can buy or sell any computer geek there is. Who's Bill Gates? Never heard of em.

>How did you find this page:

>Link from Windows 95 Page.
Yeh, I just got the windows on my 59 Caddie tinted so no one can see in.

>Link from a Macintosh Page
Hey a Macintosh is an apple. If it ain't been fried I don't eat it.

>Link from Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp
Great old TV show. Those monkees make me split a gut!

>Yahoo
Love that chocolate stuff. I mix it with Vodka.

>Yippee
I don't like them goddamed long haired Yippees.

>Found in Usenet post on
>"alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.jerrylewis.bucknaked"
Oh man you must either be very sick, or French.

>E-mailed from a friend I've never actually met but have spent
>hours with in chat areas and exchanged countless e-mails. I have
>spent more time on-line with this person than I have spent with
>any one member of my family. This "actual human contact" stuff is
>vastly overrated.
If you checked female above lets get together. I, the King, will demonstrate some actual human contact baby!

>Voices in my head won't stop chanting this URL.
It's really Colonel Tom Parker tellin ya what to do. Or maybe its those monks doin the Gregorian chant thing. Love that disk. Those cats can wail!

>Have you ever found yourself:

>Early in the morning waking up to find you've fallen asleep in
>front of the computer. Face down on the keyboard with the keys
>making indentations on your skin.
No man but I once woke up after passing out face first in a bowl of guacamole.

>Trying to click on the underlined portions of a magazine article.
When I'm checking out Playboy I wanna click on each and every one of those babes.

>Deriding someone by saying "Hey, click on this!"
Deriding sounds like one of them fancy words Elvis don't use. If I get mad at someone I take em out with one Karate Chop HUH!

>Being overheard at work talking about your "URL" and
>have someone come up and recommend a "good Urologist.
Hey man the King has never seen no Urologist. He always puts a helmet on the little general.

>Clothing Preference:

>Boxers
Uh Huh Baby, I like the freedom.

>Briefs
Women's briefs but only on my head.

>Commando!!
On the road when I run outa clean ones.

>Do You Own a Computer?

>Yes
Only electronic machines I own is TVs. Got one in every room.

>No
Hey man, The King don't do typing.

>If you don't own a computer, do you plan to buy or steal one
>in the next year?

>Yes, if I'm paroled.
Is this my son-in-law? Is that you Michael?

>No
I'm not gonna buy one for me but I will buy one for my little girl Lisa Marie. She and that Jackson kid love to spend hours up in her room with some of the neighborhood kids playing games and stuff.

>If you own or plan to purchase/steal a computer in the next year what accessories might you purchase?

>Large Keg cooler with beer on tap!
Oh Man! Lots of beer with pizza, fried chicken taters and gravy and gimmie some of them biscuits.

>Framed color photo of Ivana Trump. She is such a classy babe.
>I love a woman who piles her hair up on top of her head.
>Hey I gotta go for it.
Hey call my pilot get my jet fueled up. We are heading for New York! And get out my white jump suit, the one with the cape. That Ivana babe will melt when she sees me in that suit and I sing her "Love Me Tender."

Later Man,
E.
elvispresley@cheesedanish.com
"Takin' care of business in the afterlife"

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