Our Fake Consumer Survey

Check Here If you would like to receive a message from the King of Rock and Roll.

Some personal data about you, Sex:


A little of both


None of your damn business
Not Enough
I'm a computer geek who makes more in one year than you will ever see in a lifetime, buddy!

How did you find this page:

Link from Windows 95 Page
Link from a Macintosh Page
Link from Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp
Found in Usenet post on
e-mailed from a friend I've never actually met but have spent hours with in chat areas and exchanged countless e-mails. I have spent more time on-line with this person than I have spent with any one member of my family. This "actual human contact" stuff is vastly overrated.
Voices in my head won't stop chanting this URL.

Have you ever found yourself:

Early in the morning waking up to find you've fallen asleep in front of the computer. Face down on the keyboard with the keys making indentations on your skin.
Trying to click on the underlined portions of a magazine article.
Deriding someone by saying "Hey, click on this!"
Being overheard at work talking about your "URL" and have someone come up and recommend a "good Urologist."

Clothing Preference:


Do You Own a Computer?

Don't Know

If you don't own a computer, do you plan to buy or steal one in the next year?

Yes, if I'm paroled.

If you own or plan to purchase/steal a computer in the next year what accessories might you purchase?

Faster Modem
Color Printer
Large Keg cooler with beer on tap!
Framed color photo of Ivana Trump. She is such a classy babe. I love a woman who piles her hair up on top of her head. Hey I gotta go for it.

This is the area where we ask for any additional comments you'd like to make. We really don't care what you think but we must appear that we do. So please, knock yourself out telling us what you really think and be assured, no one will ever read it.

Thanks for filling out our survey! Be assured all information will be kept in the strictest confidence and will be sold to anyone who wants to buy it.

Oh yes, the offer of the Visa or MasterCard with NO annual interest charge and no bill EVER! You can charge as much as you like and NEVER receive a bill! What planet are YOU from?? It's a lie just to get you to fill out the form.

submit.gif (1101 bytes) Hmmm..."Submit" sound's a little kinky.

clear.gif (1062 bytes) Drink Beer, _____ Clear.


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