A parody of a famous web browser company whose name starts with an N.  By legal agreement we can say who.

INLINE PLUG-INS

The "N" Brand browser 3.0 supports a new functionality-enhancing feature that provides inline support for a huge range of Live Objects. With Live Objects, developers can deliver rich multimedia content through Internet sites, allowing users to seamlessly view that content with plug-ins such as Live Cats and Dogs, The Kitchen Sink, Virtual Papal Audience, All Holds Barred, and Apple QuickSnack in the client window - all without launching any external helper applications.


CURRENTLY SHIPPING PLUG-INS

LIVE CATS AND DOGS BY FURRY - PUP
The "Alpha-Beta" version of Live Cats and Dogs lets you enjoy the companionship and warmth of a live cat or dog right in your Negotiator window. The enjoyment of a live pet without all the hassle. Download a Prerelease, Temporary, Beta, "Can't get the damn thing to work quite yet", Windows 95 or Windows NT WT (NiT WiT) version of Live Cats and Dogs. Although it is not recommended to download both Cats and Dogs at the same time as it has been know to crash systems after much barking, screeching, hissing, and fighting. Also, be sure to download the helper application Virtual Pooper-Scooper / Litter Box.
 
THE KITCHEN SINK BY FUTURE MILLIONAIRES
The Kitchen Sink is the most complete plug-in application still yet to be developed for the "N" browser. Afraid this web frenzy would pass us by before we had something developed we tossed every bit of code we had into The Kitchen Sink. You've heard of "Vaporware", well this is "Imagineware." We "imagine" we'll have something developed sometime after our stock shoots up 50 points, and before the Feds come knocking on our door.
 
VIRTUAL PAPAL AUDIENCE BY HOLY SEE SOFTWARE
Were you not able to meet Pope John Paul II when he visited your city? Not willing to travel to Vatican City and have to look at all those boring paintings, statues, and what's that place where that guy painted the ceiling? Well now you can have a private audience with the Pope without leaving the comfort of your computer screen. Virtual Papal Audience begins with the Pope holding out his virtual ring (lower left corner of screen) for you to kiss. You are then escorted into his private office for a thirty second audience. An added graphic bonus: a plan for a cool mitre hat for you to print, cut out and wear during your visit. Be just like the Sacred College of Cardinals, choose, download, and install the Pope today.
(Program design by Karol Wojtyla)
 
ALL HOLDS BARRED BY AVENGING NEWBIES
Don't you hate calling a Tech-Support line and being put on hold for thirty minutes. With All Holds Barred you'll never be on hold for more than five minutes! We have cataloged the personal home phone and cell phone numbers of the top ten executives of each of the top two-hundred computer hardware/software manufacturers and on-line service providers. If you call a company's Tech-Support line and are put on hold for more than five minutes, the program automatically dials the home phone number of the CEO of that company. It continues down it's list until it contacts someone who can answer your question. Maybe after getting a few calls at two a.m. they'll think about adding to the support staff. To purchase All Holds Barred call 1-900-555-HOLD, touch #4, and wait for the next available operator. ($4.50/min. -- avg. call 36 min.)

COMING SOON




Corporate Sales: 415/555-1212; Personal Sales: 415/555-1212
If you have any questions, please visit Customer Service.

Copyright 1996 "N" Browser Mis-Communications Corporation