Hot Fun In The
Memorable Summer Jobs
By Rick Bundren
For three seasons I was an usher for the shows at Paramount's Kings Island amusement park in Cincinnati Ohio. My job required me to constantly be in the view of the public so that I could answer questions.
I'll tell you what, the general poplulation is dumber than a rock.
One of the trademarks of King's Island is a 1/3 replica of the Eiffel Tower. I had six people ask me where the Eiffel Tower is. You can see the Eiffel Tower replica from anywhere in the park if you just look up and turn around. The first time someone asked, I was in shock and told them where it was. The next time I was asked I told them "France." The third time I just looked up and told them I had no idea. The forth time I told them it was taken out, and the last two times I just pointed upward.
One of the shows I worked was the Ice-skating show. This show was always the best one in the park. Well, the people only got stupider there.
Many people would walk into the building and say "that isn't ice is it?" I would say "No they are skating on the cement but we called it a ice show." Many other guests would walk in and say "Where is the ice?" Well, the way the theater is set up you have benches in the back. When you walk in, it slopes down to the stage and the ice is right there. What the hell do they think is in front of them. Finally one gentleman asked me where the ice was and I pointed and said "right there sir." He said "That can't be the stage, becasue last year the ice was blue but now it is red." I said "Sir, those are only lights that change the apperance of the ice." Besides how many times have you ever got colored ice when you just froze plain old water. If you can have blue ice, why can't you have red, yellow, purple, or whatever color ice you want.
NEXT: No Mad Cows, But Exploding Cows
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March 10, 2002
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